February 7, 2017
1:15 PM or so
Washington, DC
Well, they did it – the senate, with a vote of 50 for and 50 against and an unprecedented tie-breaker vote cast by Vice President Pence, confirmed Betsy DeVos as the new secretary of education. DeVos, whose only real tie to education lies in her decades-long campaign for school voucher systems (because “…segregation was great!”) is the latest unbelievably absurd event coming out of an administration that is as uneducated as all of our children may soon be.
Secretary DeVos, who has refused to reveal how many words per minute she can type, hails from Michigan, where they have been poisoning children with water dirtier than some third-world countries. Her school lunch program entitled “Drink Up! A Healthy Lunch Starts With Tap Water” (also known as “Milk And Juice Are Overrated”) was rolled out in Detroit schools last year. No bottled beverages of any kind were offered in the cafeteria, and every child who visited the water fountain was given an Amway Essentials Catalog and a used refurbished charcoal filter water purification straw.
Immediate backlash from educators, people with children in school, anyone who ever went to a school, knew someone who went to a school, or who has seen a school at some point in their life, resulted in President Trump Tweeting “People who don’t Agree with me are stoopid. B DeVos knows what is best for our white uppre class kids. Haters gonna hate. Very Bad. #1in”
Her office declined to offer a statement to Late City Final News. But that’s typical, so we’re not all that surprised.
Late City Final News 